Work in Progress! Yuk!

Why is it when you have lots of ideas about a project, just because you have set yourself a deadline or put it out there that you will achieve something, it just doesn't plan out like it should?  I posted that I would be joining in with the KAL with shannon from luvinthemommyhood on monday, and since then the cowl that I have been crocheting has been pulled apart 4 times as it's just not what I wanted!  Prior to monday I had just finished 2 cowls and felt like I was on a roll and that making my own design would be a breeze!  Now, believe me I am not a designer, by any means. I am learning and will have the confidence to get there one day.  I find free patterns or buy them from various sources.  I may adapt them to fit the yarn or if I need a different size, but I will always give credit where it is due.  But for this project I wanted it to be just mine, my idea, my design.  Well I am just not ready!

I wanted a large, squishy, cuddly cowl that drapes well and could also go over your head.  I wanted it to have some colour woven into it to show off the grey Rowan cocoon yarn that I had in the house.  I wanted it to be a little feminine, but not too frilly. I think I wanted too much.  The picture above shows my dreaded WIP.  It has been pulled apart and restarted 4 times in my desperate attempt to finish it this week.  I hate it! It looks too masculine.  I am afraid its never going to be finished,  I certainly don't want to waste the wool on something I will never use.  My husband suggested that I give it as a gift.  No way!  If I don't like it, I'm certainly not giving it to someone else, who would politely tell me they love it!  I have to love the outcome of very project, that's the point of making things yourself.  He didn't get it!

So here are the 2 other cowls that I finished last weekend.  I love them, but they are not for me!

This is a thick chunky cowl using Rowan big wool, beautiful colour. The pictures where taken in evening so are not the best. Sorry.  I followed this pattern found on ravelry.  I think I may enter this for Octobers Celebrate color.

This one I love.  I want it for myself, but twice the width.  It wraps around twice and is so snuggly.  It uses 2 skeins of Rowan cocoon and hangs beautifully.  I used this pattern here and just loved making it!

I think I may have realised my problem.  When I make gifts, lots of time and effort goes into making the choices about the style, yarn, and colours that I think that person may like.  Time goes in to making the item and the thought and anticipation of if they will enjoy it spurs me on.  But when making things for me, I must just think, "that will do", "its only for me". Perhaps that's why its not coming out as I would like.  Less love is going in.

Join shannon and all the other knitters in the KAL.  The ravelry thread has lots of good inspiration if, like me, you feel lost!